little things

it's just pathetic stupid when you chose to believe your own judgement when others told you not to but at the end of the day, when the truth came out, they were right, I was wrong and I had to face whatever consequences my decision lead me to by myself. I allowed myself to believe in what I wanted to believe in so I basically blinded myself and only have myself to blame for it.
I basically played with fire and burnt myself or to make it sound nicer, I basically sat on a garden of cactus and I enjoyed it yes be positive. :')
I honestly think that my trust level in people was already pretty low but now it's gonna drop drop drop down the drain haha thanks good job michelle xoxo
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Throwing all the negativity behind and now back to positivity hahhaha yes I am very positive despite being sick and coughing like mad because after seeing the doctor the first time, I became worse so I had to see another doctor today morning and now I have been doing maths since like 11++ :") Serve myself right for slacking for the past few weeks so now despite being sick, I need to keep studying yes good job michelle good job.
I am 2 weeks away (14 days and around 7 hours approx to be exact) from my Europe trip yessss, my parents finally woke up and realize they should at least worry because the world is in a little mess right now but the tour agency say no to changes because it's safe there haha ok..... :) On the bright side, I bothered reading the itinerary properly just now and realized that im going Switzerland and Germany too and I'm actually staying in Paris for like 1.5 days only so.... My aunts actually called my dad and texted me asking us to not go because it's dangerous cause one of my aunt's friend went Rome and almost got slashed at a tourist area and when she was in Paris, robbers cut broken her car wheel and stole stuff and it was recent so my mum got worried and my dad just continued his "it's ok it's fine attitude" but now my mum just jokes that we should bring less stuff and eat less this few days so we can run when there's danger........................ ok.............

 

^ no sushi and hannah cause they weren't there ):

^ I am very proud of myself because I went to school without makeup twice in a week..... I do feel a little insecure but it feels so good to be able to scratch your eye when it's itchy and not worrying if my makeup is gonna melt or smudge or smth. :') I wish I can keep it up but when I don't wear makeup, people will ask if I am sick or if I didn't sleep or if I cried cause my eyes look swollen and I have eye bags T_T

^ went back to nanyang pri (after 2 years I guess) and it looks great now, like the old campus look like some design school cause it's rainbow colored and there's open bridges between the two blocks and it's damn big and there's a new playground ): I went back to visit the co camp with yichien and wanted to stay overnight to help tie the waterbombs but yichien had 7 hours of lecture the next day and I was sick so cannot haha but I manage to explore almost everywhere with her and it was fun although it's scary at night because it's dark and the lights isn't on.

 

 

 

----------------- pls study hard, one week plus to go to term test and body please help me and recover quickly yes thank you hahaha ---------------------

mid nov

27.5 days to rome/amsterdam/paris trip and paris is in a mess now.... #prayforparis )-: My parents don't really bother so the trip is still a yes haha, like my mum just said "if you are meant to die then you will die anyway" ok....ok....
I am like listening to weird songs, doing airline electure and CPPS at the same time...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^ so last night I had Korean food for dinner and it's vvvvvvvv good (it kind of taste like yoogane but yoogane is still better but their price and queue T_T) The shop owner and staff are super nice but their bingsu not nice )-:

 

^ Justin Bieber's Love Yourself is damnnnn good

I have to go back to work because CPPS test next week :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

 

 

x "it takes 21 days to make or break an habit"

x"photographs are the simplest proof that even if it was just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect"

x"don't allow yourself to cross oceans for people that won't even jump across puddles for you"



 

november week one

so...... I finally got to go after my mum made me sit in front of her at the dining table and she spend like 40 minutes talking about abortion and other weird stuff to me..... :-) I kind of get angry easily this week so of course I was slightly frustrated cause she says the weirdest stuff to me when I am preparing to start studying and all, like, she said that girls should focus on studying and working until at least 30 where you can think of dating and getting married..... ok :-) I know she is saying all those for my good but I rather honestly get 40 minutes more of sleep...... zzz

I just blogged last week but I wanna rant a little before starting on work.... cpps/maths :-) So this week was pretty good although I kind of broke my no vulgarities rule... a lot..... I stopped vulgarities since sec 4 I think but I was so pissed I just had to use it hahahahaha and I used it a lot haha but it's ok I forgive myself this week because some people honestly deserve it :-)

 

^ so last sunday caroline came my house to swim haha, thankful to have someone living so near me and always listening to me rant and say dumb stuff xx

^ so I met up with Brian in school this week, it's weird how we are both from nanyang but never spoke to each other and only got close after going to different secondary school and now we both ended up in tp haha. I was nice and treated him bubble tea and starbucks (he chose the $8.90 one :D) but haha it's okay he used to buy me stuff and I got to scold whoever I wanted within our almost 2-3 hours meetup so I felt better.

^ vulgar sushi and Zachary

^ so last Saturday, I went to national library to study and I gave up cause idek what's happening and I went on twitter and saw people taking about Our Times again so I decided to check if the cinemas opposite (bugis and bugis plus) have any showtime that is starting soon because I can't go home too late and it was 3:50pm so the latest show I can watch is probably 4:10 (it's a 2 hour plus show) and bugis plus filmgrade had a show at 4 YAY so I just packed my stuff and ran there hahaha but sadly, the queue was damnnnnn long and I only manage to get there at 4pm so I actually thought of going back home but I was already in the mood for the movie so I got the ticket and went in 15 minutes late ): (the cinema was damn packed so I had to sit at the second row corner seat but lucky the 4 seats beside me are all empty heheh) Yesterday, I watched it again because me and the girls weren't even in the study mood so I suggested watching cause Hannah and mardiana didn't watch it before and I wanted to watch it again (Caroline watching it for the third time because she just watched it on Thursday night hahah :x) and there was a 3:55pm movie at tampines GV so we rushed there and we didn't have cash and they don't allow nets...??? So we were a bit late cause Hannah had to run to draw money and so we had to sit on the first row and I suggested sitting on the floor so it's more comfty and ya we sat on the floor to watch hahahahha (Mardi and Caroline lie down on the floor)



我聽見雨滴 落在青青草地

我聽見遠方 下課鐘聲響起

可是我沒有聽見你的聲音 認真呼喚我姓名

愛上你的時候 還不懂感情

離別了 才覺得刻骨銘心

為什麼沒有發現 遇見了你 是生命最好的事情

也許當時

忙著微笑和哭泣 忙著追逐天空中的流星

人理所當然的忘記

是誰風裡 雨裡 一直默默守護在原地

原來你是 我最想留住的幸運

原來我們 和愛情曾經靠得那麼近

那為我對抗世界的決定 那陪我淋的雨

一幕幕都是你 一塵不染的真心

與你相遇 好幸運

可我已失去 為你淚流滿面的權利

但願在我看不到的天際 你張開了雙翼

遇見你的注定 她會有多幸運

青春是段跌跌撞撞的旅行

擁有著後知後覺的美麗

來不及感謝 是你給我勇氣 讓我能做回我自己

 

^ A story about "What could have happened" is always more emotional and interesting than a movie of "What happened and why it screwed up" haha and I guess that's why the movie is so good. Apparently according to school/coming of age dramas and movies being 16-19 is probably the best time of everyone's life and I can't deny I wanna grow up quickly but maybe I should appreciate being 17 because at least I am still at the age where I can do stupid stuff and learn from it, I can take time to find what I wanna do with and in my life, I can find who I really want to be and also find out what kind of people is worth fighting for and who isn't.

I am happy I went to watch for the second time because I was late the first time so I missed the front part and I actually understood more this time and watching with people actually feels different <3

^ conclusion: I learnt this week that firstly, not everyone you lose in your life is a lost.

secondly, people, including myself find excuses for ourselves and blame others just so to make ourselves feel better and lessen the guilt.

thirdly, other's opinion and criticizes are important but don't let what others think and feel kill yourself too much emotionally because some times, some people only see the horrible side of you xx

forth, I can be someone I don't even recognize and I can't say it's a bad thing for myself

fifth and lastly, occasional use of vulgarities are ok because they are great in emphasizing an important point :-)

xxxxxx end of my rant and rubbish hahah xxxxxxx